Me, Myself and I: When I’m you, but also me
Or, what it's like to be a your own dragon, but also literally intertwined with two other dragons as a single dragon
So we are a system of five dragons with three of our members collectively identifying as a hydra linktype, but each of them also has an individual form outside of that. As a hydra, we feel like we ride a weird line between what it means to be an individual and what is the self. We’re writing this to share what our daily life is like because we thought others might find it interesting! There’s not that many hydras around in the alterhuman community that we’ve seen at least.
We are a single dragon – we share a single body even in the headspace and are connected in a way we don’t share with other headmates. However, it gets extra fucky because we aren’t always together like that nor are we always all present in it when combined. Sometimes only two of the three hydra members combine at a time to be a hydra – it’s not necessary to have all three. Because of the shifting make-up of members, the appearance of our hydra form–the number of limbs, wing arrangement, and size also changes. Generally speaking, we'll be the size of whoever the largest dragon in the group is at the time. The one constant is that we always have gold scales.
How do you know when you’re a hydra then?
How do we know when we’re an individual dragon vs a single unit as a hydra? The easiest way to tell is because we’ll look like a hydra in our headspace. When someone isn’t in hydra form they’ll appear as their individual form. We can “tune in” to another headmate’s frequency and get a glimpse at what they’re doing/where they are from the front. It’s like adjusting the dial on a radio and can happen as quickly as if you glanced over at a mirror. Beyond essentially looking down at ourselves to check, we can often just feel it. The usual scenario is we feel like we’re in hydra form and we quickly check-in to confirm.
What does “just feel it” mean? It can mean feeling the phantom sensation of another neck alongside our body’s physical one. It can also mean feeling like our thoughts/feelings are “fuller” and we’re experiencing the thoughts of another fellow hydra head running parallel to our own. Another common occurrence is we can feel closeness, a unique lack of boundary, between what is me and us.
Something we’ve been asked is who is controlling the body then? Do certain heads control different parts? How do we decide when we are moving around the headspace or collectively fronting? When we’re a hydra we’re not three dragons that have been glued together we are a single dragon. We all collectively control everything. As long as we have a shared intent, our body will move accordingly. And if we disagree? It definitely happens, but communication barriers are basically nonexistent. We feel each other’s thoughts and feelings as instantaneously as our own. It’s unusual to be frozen in indecision, it’s more like hesitating before making a choice. Talking things through just happens so quickly.
To share a mind
The thoughtleak is real. Thoughtleak happens between all of our headmates, usually when we’re close to each other in the headspace, but when in hydra form it’s more intimate. There’s definitely been times where we’ll suddenly feel an out-of-place emotion and have to consider who it belongs to. Which, that can happen with our other headmates, but it’s a stronger, more pressing feeling and harder to distinguish as someone else’s since hydra. When we’re not in hydra form, the rules seem to be the same as our non-hydra headmates: thoughtleak amount depends on proximity. It’s not possible for us to be both a hydra and in individual forms at the same time. It’s one or the other. Likewise, shifting between them doesn’t leave us in a limbo state. There can be a general knowing or sense that the form is going to shift soon before it does, but the actual change in form happens quickly.
Also, our other headmates are not able to just hop in and suddenly decide to join us as a hydra. There’s not a great way to explain it besides we’re able to do it because we’re drift-compatible. It’s just not possible unless we’re on the same wavelength.
Choice is punk and being an otherlinker is not only valid, but actually extremely cool.
The things you choose for yourself are powerful and we choose to describe our hydra-self as a linktype. This may or may not seem odd given everything we’ve said up to this point, but we have a specific reason for it. Everything: merging, being close to one another and sharing with each other is a choice. The linktype descriptor immediately communicates to others that we are collectively choosing to become another, different dragon together.
Nothing happens against someone else’s will. It’s impossible to Voltron into a hydra if we’re not comfortable with it. Forming together as a hydra is contingent on us not only on us being in tune with one another, but actively desiring to be close to one another. You gotta be drift-compatible and be willing to get into the robot.
Parting Thoughts
We want to finish with a quote from Thorn. It was said in response to our 30 day alterhuman challenge, but we feel sums everything up nicely:
"We have a strong bond that has grown stronger over time. There’s a quote saved on our phone that I want to paraphrase: 'Right now, they feel like they’re in a box–like the menial distance between them is some forced, unnatural barrier that shouldn’t be there. Right now, they want to tear that barrier down.’ Being a dragon inherently comes with a feeling of power and pride, but being a hydra is about love and connection. We often joke that the only thing we love more than ourselves is each other. We’re close with our other headmates, but there’s something about becoming the same being as one another. A unique level of synchronicity and trust is needed for it. I love them.” – Thorn
So we are a system of five dragons with three of our members collectively identifying as a hydra linktype, but each of them also has an individual form outside of that. As a hydra, we feel like we ride a weird line between what it means to be an individual and what is the self. We’re writing this to share what our daily life is like because we thought others might find it interesting! There’s not that many hydras around in the alterhuman community that we’ve seen at least.
We are a single dragon – we share a single body even in the headspace and are connected in a way we don’t share with other headmates. However, it gets extra fucky because we aren’t always together like that nor are we always all present in it when combined. Sometimes only two of the three hydra members combine at a time to be a hydra – it’s not necessary to have all three. Because of the shifting make-up of members, the appearance of our hydra form–the number of limbs, wing arrangement, and size also changes. Generally speaking, we'll be the size of whoever the largest dragon in the group is at the time. The one constant is that we always have gold scales.
How do you know when you’re a hydra then?
How do we know when we’re an individual dragon vs a single unit as a hydra? The easiest way to tell is because we’ll look like a hydra in our headspace. When someone isn’t in hydra form they’ll appear as their individual form. We can “tune in” to another headmate’s frequency and get a glimpse at what they’re doing/where they are from the front. It’s like adjusting the dial on a radio and can happen as quickly as if you glanced over at a mirror. Beyond essentially looking down at ourselves to check, we can often just feel it. The usual scenario is we feel like we’re in hydra form and we quickly check-in to confirm.
What does “just feel it” mean? It can mean feeling the phantom sensation of another neck alongside our body’s physical one. It can also mean feeling like our thoughts/feelings are “fuller” and we’re experiencing the thoughts of another fellow hydra head running parallel to our own. Another common occurrence is we can feel closeness, a unique lack of boundary, between what is me and us.
Something we’ve been asked is who is controlling the body then? Do certain heads control different parts? How do we decide when we are moving around the headspace or collectively fronting? When we’re a hydra we’re not three dragons that have been glued together we are a single dragon. We all collectively control everything. As long as we have a shared intent, our body will move accordingly. And if we disagree? It definitely happens, but communication barriers are basically nonexistent. We feel each other’s thoughts and feelings as instantaneously as our own. It’s unusual to be frozen in indecision, it’s more like hesitating before making a choice. Talking things through just happens so quickly.
To share a mind
The thoughtleak is real. Thoughtleak happens between all of our headmates, usually when we’re close to each other in the headspace, but when in hydra form it’s more intimate. There’s definitely been times where we’ll suddenly feel an out-of-place emotion and have to consider who it belongs to. Which, that can happen with our other headmates, but it’s a stronger, more pressing feeling and harder to distinguish as someone else’s since hydra. When we’re not in hydra form, the rules seem to be the same as our non-hydra headmates: thoughtleak amount depends on proximity. It’s not possible for us to be both a hydra and in individual forms at the same time. It’s one or the other. Likewise, shifting between them doesn’t leave us in a limbo state. There can be a general knowing or sense that the form is going to shift soon before it does, but the actual change in form happens quickly.
Also, our other headmates are not able to just hop in and suddenly decide to join us as a hydra. There’s not a great way to explain it besides we’re able to do it because we’re drift-compatible. It’s just not possible unless we’re on the same wavelength.
Choice is punk and being an otherlinker is not only valid, but actually extremely cool.
The things you choose for yourself are powerful and we choose to describe our hydra-self as a linktype. This may or may not seem odd given everything we’ve said up to this point, but we have a specific reason for it. Everything: merging, being close to one another and sharing with each other is a choice. The linktype descriptor immediately communicates to others that we are collectively choosing to become another, different dragon together.
Nothing happens against someone else’s will. It’s impossible to Voltron into a hydra if we’re not comfortable with it. Forming together as a hydra is contingent on us not only on us being in tune with one another, but actively desiring to be close to one another. You gotta be drift-compatible and be willing to get into the robot.
Parting Thoughts
We want to finish with a quote from Thorn. It was said in response to our 30 day alterhuman challenge, but we feel sums everything up nicely:
"We have a strong bond that has grown stronger over time. There’s a quote saved on our phone that I want to paraphrase: 'Right now, they feel like they’re in a box–like the menial distance between them is some forced, unnatural barrier that shouldn’t be there. Right now, they want to tear that barrier down.’ Being a dragon inherently comes with a feeling of power and pride, but being a hydra is about love and connection. We often joke that the only thing we love more than ourselves is each other. We’re close with our other headmates, but there’s something about becoming the same being as one another. A unique level of synchronicity and trust is needed for it. I love them.” – Thorn