Perception: Point of View, Ideal, Sense of Sight, Hindsight
FALL-TERHUMANITY MONTH:
Week 1 - Perception
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The body is a living home I reside within, but it is not me. From my point of view, I was never human.
I can apply no hindsight to my life. I have no memories of existing before recognizing my “personhood” here. A lot, and I mean a lot, of alterhumans talk about “missing home” or “wanting memories.” I’m starting to conceptualize why others might want them, but I don’t share either desire. I’m comfortable in the present so what does it matter what I had or didn’t have before? The past is gone and I’m not going to pretend to miss it.
The way everyone lives their lives is confusing and so many of the things others talk about seem so irrelevant. Personally, If something doesn’t affect our ability to get food/water or shelter it’s hard to conjure emotions towards it. Also, I suppose, as long as others don’t encroach on my territory. Or piss off my partners. Their problems somehow always become my own. Maybe that’s short-sighted, but I prefer to focus on problems I can see directly in front of me–nor am I in the wrong for this.
The longer I spend with my cluster, the more time I’m spending with my own thoughts. The change in perception is slow and easy to miss. When did it become “our” friends and family and not “Hortense’s?” Also, apparently I have friends now. What am I supposed to do with that? The expected emotions surrounding these “social creature relationships” don’t come naturally to me. I bristle when meeting other dragons especially, protective and jealous, thinking them far too close to my cluster for comfort.
Out of everyone, I clash the most with Hortense. She thinks and over-thinks actions based on ideals. She’s nitpicky too! (I love you) Why should I soften what I think for others? “Because it’s kinder, because it’ll get you a better result, because the intention will be better heard, it’s not smart to burn bridges.” There’s always something. I try to understand, because, I think, if I did have a life before someone like that could have killed me. She didn’t like that compliment as much as I thought she should when I told her it. We can’t overpower others in this world, we have to fight with our words and they’re proving far more powerful than I gave them credit for.
- Stryker
Week 1 - Perception
- Point of View
- Ideal
- Sense of Sight
- Hindsight
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The body is a living home I reside within, but it is not me. From my point of view, I was never human.
I can apply no hindsight to my life. I have no memories of existing before recognizing my “personhood” here. A lot, and I mean a lot, of alterhumans talk about “missing home” or “wanting memories.” I’m starting to conceptualize why others might want them, but I don’t share either desire. I’m comfortable in the present so what does it matter what I had or didn’t have before? The past is gone and I’m not going to pretend to miss it.
The way everyone lives their lives is confusing and so many of the things others talk about seem so irrelevant. Personally, If something doesn’t affect our ability to get food/water or shelter it’s hard to conjure emotions towards it. Also, I suppose, as long as others don’t encroach on my territory. Or piss off my partners. Their problems somehow always become my own. Maybe that’s short-sighted, but I prefer to focus on problems I can see directly in front of me–nor am I in the wrong for this.
The longer I spend with my cluster, the more time I’m spending with my own thoughts. The change in perception is slow and easy to miss. When did it become “our” friends and family and not “Hortense’s?” Also, apparently I have friends now. What am I supposed to do with that? The expected emotions surrounding these “social creature relationships” don’t come naturally to me. I bristle when meeting other dragons especially, protective and jealous, thinking them far too close to my cluster for comfort.
Out of everyone, I clash the most with Hortense. She thinks and over-thinks actions based on ideals. She’s nitpicky too! (I love you) Why should I soften what I think for others? “Because it’s kinder, because it’ll get you a better result, because the intention will be better heard, it’s not smart to burn bridges.” There’s always something. I try to understand, because, I think, if I did have a life before someone like that could have killed me. She didn’t like that compliment as much as I thought she should when I told her it. We can’t overpower others in this world, we have to fight with our words and they’re proving far more powerful than I gave them credit for.
- Stryker