What Vaguetypes Mean to Me: Ga'Hoole Owl Edition
I've been thinking more and more about how there's not nearly enough othervague content. So! Here's my contribution on why I personally love othervague and call my Ga'Hoole owl 'type a vaguetype vs a fictotype.
Why Othervague?
The easiest answer is a dislike for labels. Having the freedom to exist in-between gives me more breathing room to explore my identity. There's no pressure to "conform" if the label is inherently, well, vague. Ha ha. I don't have to worry I'm pushing myself into feeling a certain way to fit--or stress about having to change labels or whatever if my experiences change. Hell, even created knowledge would be fair game here. But we'll talk more about that later.
To clarify, this is not a temporary label for me to use until I sort everything out later. Vaguetype is the final stop. No matter where my self-discovery takes me, the label is reliable and works.
Below I'll pick-apart my various feelings and connections to these owls and how I experience the in-between.
Intrinsic and Integral
I'm avianheated and I don't think it's a mistake that I identify as one too. Which came first is kinda a chicken or the egg scenario. I've heard it spun both ways before and it really comes down to the individual's interpretation of their experiences. Would I feel so drawn to these owls if I wasn't so attached to birds? Or, did I attach to birds because I innately knew they were similar to myself?
I don't know and I don't really mind either way.
I am an owl, but my owl-ness competes internally with dracomon (another vaguetype I'll discuss in a part 2) and human. Even if my feelings wane, I know they'll eventually begin to wax again like the moon. It's like they're tied in with my default settings. I could probably take actions to suppress them and test how true that is, but wtf that sounds awful. Existing this way makes me happy, I feel like myself and I'm certainly not hurting anyone else.
Archetype of the Guardian
What separates archetrope from otherkin?
Sometimes it's easy to see. Like someone identifying with a role totally detached from being explicitly nonhuman. However, when I think about this, archetropes come off as more action-focused to me. They're more concerned with doing things, what actions they're going to take next or at the least concerned with living in alignment to a set of values/role/code. At least, that's the vibe I get.
A big part of my identity is the role of being a guardian, upholding their oath and extending a helping talon to others. For example, few things make me feel more like an owl than working on archival duties (besides maybe being out in a storm!) It's a way to live one of the core values of the tree which is to grow our collective knowledge and share it with all.
The act of continuing the legacy and upholding the tree's standards is a very present ideal for me.
Created Knowledge
Straddling the line between noemata and otherlink, knowledge we acquire and stitch together is probably one of the more contentious areas.
How can you tell noemata from headcanon?
I don't feel it matters to my personal experience. Stories and legends are true in their own way. They're feelings we get in our gizzards that over time become true in our hearts. Thinking about how I was a hireclaw before coming to the Great Tree emboldens me to try harder to be patient and compassionate to others. To be a better owl.
I don't want to concern myself rigorously picking apart what is voluntary or involuntary--100% true kin memory or a fabrication of my mind. I rather spend my time living and being an owl. These feelings are true in my reality, they affect my behavior and drive me to new heights. Even the bits of knowledge about my vaguetype that border more on the headcanon side have important messages about my life and journey. I don't choose things at random, there's something resonating with me that draws me there.
As another piece of this is my kinsona representation. I don't have strong feelings towards a certain owl species, but I feel drawn to long-earred owls at the moment so I represent myself as one. (That's me on the right in the top photo!) The colors and markings are just stylized natural looking ones.
I am an owl of the Great Tree, I long for flight and freedom, knowledge and understanding -- my species is secondary to my actions and words.
The Heart of the Matter
Could I call myself something different and be taken seriously in the community? Of course! But at the end of the day, after all this talking, it comes down to what I want. My desire is to have a nebulous label. If I was forced to pick something else, I think I would simply call myself "unlabelled" or perhaps only "fictionfolk."
-Hortense